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The Relationship Translator

Ladies, ever wonder what a guy means when he does or says something? Well heres your chance. As a man I will give you the secrets as to what men really think considering lots of women get annoyed and confused by mens signals. hopefully this page will give some insight.
Aug 5 '10

New Feature!: Advice By BBM

Ladies, want advice on the spot and can’t wait for a post? Well add our BBM pin for instant advice! 30CFB791. Blackberry required.

Aug 5 '10

Tip Sixteen: “He Never Calls”

txting

So this post is going to be fun to write. This is the first post that has been a reader request! Thanks to the reader (who shall be kept anonymous). She wrote in wanting some insight on men who will text you for days but won’t call you or pick up the phone when you call. Have you ever been in a relationship where it seems to be through a tiny screen only? A recent study says that in 2009, 72% of cell phone owners had unlimited texting plans. The amount of text messages have doubled in comparison to the number of phone calls that people make every month. These numbers are scary only because we are becoming a society where we run the risk of losing our given ability to speak. So much communication these days is done through email, Facebook, Twitter, and texting. I could go on but this was just a precursor to the point of today’s post.

So why do men seem to prefer text only relationships? Well, there may be a few reasons for this behavior.

He’s afraid. Not of you or talking to you, but he just may fear being on the phone. There are lots of people (including myself) that fear phone calls. People fear them mainly because most of the time they’re probably on the phone with someone they don’t know. As humans, we’re used to seeing eye-to-eye and speaking in person. Phone calls leave some mystery as to what really may be going on. How do you know the person on the other line isn’t secretly cursing you to death? Texting has solved this problem ten fold. You can now text someone short sentences and get your word across very easily.

He doesn’t wanna sound stupid. So texting has enabled people to have the time and freedom to form their sentences the way they want it to come out. Whereas on the phone, you risk saying things you may not mean and then regret them later. Texting gives you the time to express yourself the way you want to be seen and in some degree, you may even sound “cooler” than you really are based on what you say. There also seems to be little to no awkward silences because if the person doesn’t text you back right away, it can be seen as, “well maybe he’s just in the shower or something.”

He’s annoyed by you, but he enjoyed hooking up with you. Something about you may be annoying to him but it does not overpower your skills if you catch my drift. Some men will “put up with the pain” in order to have someone to hook up with. Yes this is a pure form of what I like to call “douchebagory” but lets face it, this is the way some men are, and it’ll be very difficult to change him.

Some guys even feel nervous about speaking to a girl they’re dating on the phone, especially if his friends are around. It’s not that he’s embarrassed of you, he just wants to avoid the ridicule and teasing that comes with this sort of thing. When he rarely does answer the phone, rest assured that there probably isn’t anyone else in the room with him.

 Lets face it, texting has made relationships easier, but in return it has also downgraded the level of conversation between couples. The days of hour long conversations may soon be out the door and replaced with “lols” and smiley faces. In my opinion, this is just something we have to adjust to. There’s nothing you can do to fight the craze. All you have to do is make sure it doesn’t become a serious problem, and address the situation if you feel like it’s becoming outrageous. I hope this has given you some insight. Until next time, this is Kris signing off.

ADDITION: After talking to one of my really good friends who read this post before this addition, I felt it was necessary to include that not all men are this way. Some men DO prefer the phone call over a text message. Men like this will use texting in situations such as being at work or a social gathering where he may not be able to talk. I wanted to get this point out there so that not all men are labeled as the “serial texter”.

**Edited By Eve Zhang**

Aug 2 '10

Tip Fifteen: Online Dating

online dating

So yes it has been a while since the last post. Summer has been a very exciting time and I’d like to make this the first post of the fall season. Welcome to season two of the Relationship Translator! 

Today’s topic is online dating. This is something that has seemed to take the world (yes I said it, the world) by storm. These days it seems so much more common to have a conversation with someone where you can speak about having found someone to date online, but why? What has happened that has made this so much more acceptable? I won’t lie, I don’t know the exact answer myself but in the past couple of months, I’ve been having quite an interesting time finding out. I’ve never been against the idea of online dating, but like many people it’s not something I bring up during conversation. Many people feel that they will be made fun of, which in many cases is true. Recently though we have seen the blow up of online dating in commercials and even music videos, like Lady Gaga’s “Telephone” featuring Beyonce with its obvious product placement of plentyoffish.com

I, myself have been trying online dating for the past couple of months. I realized it’s so much easier to meet people with similar interests. The computer pretty much does the job for you. It filters your results so that only matches that are compatible with you so that you don’t get as many bad results as you would if you tried dating in the real world. Online dating also gives you a nice buffer so that you can “test drive” a potential match before actually going out on a date. Sounds like the best option doesn’t it? Well yes it does, but of course everything has its faults.

One thing I found is that lots of dating sites make you pay just to send a message. Sure you can find your potential match but you can’t even say one word to them, so what’s the point? There is a site that I found that is actually really cool and pretty much has all of its features open to users without having to pay for them. OKcupid.com seems to be the answer for a lot of these problems. It’s funny though because once you join one of these sites and you hop to different ones, you tend to see the exact same people on all these sites. I guess you can call this “playing the field” haha.

Every time you login to one of these sites it tends to give you your matches for the day. Your job is to shift through these people and see who might potentially be a winner.

I do have some advice for the new online dater. First, only try this if you really feel you need to. The people on these sites tend to all feel the same way, their tired of being let down in the “real world” and want to try something different. Don’t join as a joke or if you don’t intend on meeting someone because for the most part, people are on there to actually find someone.

The experience is supposed to be fun too; you meet a lot of people you wouldn’t normally meet in person. It’s ok to talk to people even if you’re not interested. Some people are just looking to have conversation. If it becomes something then great, if not then no worries, there are so many people you can talk to. Ladies, you tend to get messaged a lot more then us guys do. It’s a normal thing. Once in a while you’ll message people and sometimes you’ll hear back and sometimes not, don’t worry about it.

Fast forwarding through the process of messages, texting and such, you both decide to meet up! This is really great. It’s sort of like a blind date even though you’ve seen pictures of each other. My advice is to meet at a public place like a museum or a popular restaurant. This will help avoid any negative outcomes such as kidnapping (yeah it happens). 

The first date will most likely be awkward. You’ve never met so it’s to be expected. He will try and make conversation with random topics and even say things that may embarrass him. It’s okay to laugh and comment, just try to keep the conversation going to avoid more awkwardness. He’s thinking the same thing you are, he’s nervous and wants it to go well. Also remember like any first date, don’t go to a movie. You can’t talk in a movie, which eliminates the purpose of the first date, a time to get to know each other!

In my final words, I wish you all happy online dating experiences. They say 70% of the American population is dating online and 30% of those people find love online. Those odds aren’t so bad when you think about it. This is Kris signing off.

**Edited By Eve Zhang**

Jul 7 '10

Tip Fourteen: How Do I Know If He’s Interested?

guy girl int

So due to the fact that my cable and internet has been off for the last week, this post comes very late, and for that I apologize, though I blame the company…ANYWAY onto business. Today I’d like to post about ways for you ladies to know whether he’s interested in you or whether you’re wasting your time and should just move on. As men, we generally know whether we have a chance with a woman or not. It’s not always the case, but for the most part, women are a lot more obvious than men are (as much as you ladies are willing to deny it till the very end). Now it’s not a bad thing, but studies show that men are harder to read in this aspect then women are. How do I know this? It’s simple; let’s give you a short scenario: 

All seems to be going well with the guy you have started to like, but then suddenly he loses interest, or he doesn’t but you notice that it’s not going anywhere. You finally decide to ask him what the deal is and he says, “You know, you’re cool and all, but I’m not looking for anything serious.”

I’m sorry, but at this moment you just got de-tagged from his list of potential girlfriends. The truth is at the beginning he may have seen you as a potential dating prospect, but somewhere down the line he realized he doesn’t want anything serious. He will still hang with you and flirt and try to get physical. Why? Because even though he doesn’t want you for a relationship, he does want you for your body. Remember ladies, it’s your features that attracted him to you to begin with, and that’s one of the few things that never change.

The easiest way to know if a guy is there for the long haul is waiting a long time before getting into bed with him. Any guy who just wants sex will not be willing to work for it. He wants it quick and easy. If the guy is calm throughout the entire situation then he is a keeper. He will want you for you.

So let’s backtrack to the beginning, here are ways to know where you stand:

1. He initiated the contact, which means that there’s something that obviously attracted him to you in the first place. If you’re the one who initiates it, he may just be going along with it because he thinks he can get laid out of it or he’s just trying not to break your heart by flat out saying, “I don’t see you that way.” Men like to be asked out by woman, it’s a secret turn on for the guy; it shows that you’re aggressive. Guys who know from the beginning how you feel about them are more likely to be more open and obvious with their feelings.

2. He texts you first. Guys who are really interested will always text to find out how your day is going. He just wants to know how you are. This does two things: first, it shows that he cares and second, you’re more likely to date someone who’s that caring. Note that if you’re the one doing the texting all the time, then he will rarely text you first. And if you do it enough, he will get bored. I see the dating game as a jungle. How interested he becomes depends on how inaccessible you are. If you’re always there, then he’s going to get bored and the game isn’t fun anymore.

3. He blatantly comes out and tells you how he feels. This is rare. Personally, this is how I tend to go about things. I’ve gotten to the point where I no longer fear rejection. I’m fine with being up front about these sort of things and either getting a yes or “you know I’m flattered but I don’t feel the same way.” And that’s totally cool; don’t be afraid to tell the guy how you really feel, but also respect that he had the balls to be up front about it. I’m sure you know how difficult it is to do something like this.

As always I’d advise you to take things slowly. Rushing anything never leads to good things and you’re better than that. If possible, try to resist the urge to sleep with the new guy on the second date, but hey, sometimes our natural animal instincts cannot be stopped haha.

On a final note, the next post will be about online dating. Please don’t be shy about sending in topic ideas; I’m always looking for new things to write about. Also if you would like to write for the blog also feel free to contact me. Until next time, this is Kris signing off. Happy dating.

**Edited by Eve Zhang, Staff**

Jun 26 '10

Tip Thirteen: Should I kiss on the first date?

kiss

So let’s start this Saturday night with something that goes through everyone’s mind during the first date: should you kiss? I believe that the opinion here is split. I’m not against the idea depending on the situation and I stress Depending on the situation.

If you’ve known the person long enough then perhaps it isn’t weird at all to kiss on the first date. It may be something that has been coming along for a while and it just hit. In this case, I say go for it, it can only end with happiness at the end of the night.

If this happens to be the first date with someone who you have just met, then this takes things to another level.  If its been going great throughout the entire first date, then yes, I say go for it if the mood feels right. If its been going well but your not feeling it then just hold off.  If there’s a second date then maybe wait till then for the kiss. If its just a train-wreck then its obvious what you should do here.

The first kiss is huge, let’s be honest here. Whether it be a classic first kiss at the door and the night ends there, or whether you get what I call “True Blooded,” in which your neck becomes a trophy case, it can mean many things. 

Every first kiss is accompanied with the idea of “I hope this is my last first kiss.”  You always hope that this new guy is “The Guy” (if that is what your looking for) and if it is, then great!  If you’re just looking to date around and see where life goes, then you have many more first kisses to come so try to make mental notes on the good and the bad.

Make the first kiss very memorable, it never comes around again. It’s the only time where you can get a feel for whether this is someone you can see yourself with in the future or not. Until next time, this is Kris signing off.

Jun 25 '10

Tip Twelve: The First Date

first date

Unfortunately these posts aren’t in order of how to use them (for example this first date post is way overdue) Today we will be discussing “the first date” Do’s and Dont’s and what hes thinking during the first date, because believe me, he’s as clueless and thinking while talking as you are.

To start off with, most men (at least i’d like to believe so) are fans of the classic first date. Dinner and a movie for example is the prime one. There are a few reasons why he does this. The biggest reason is..well its easy and it also seems to be favored among women. Free food and a movie sound like a fun night is it not? Lots of women say they want originality. This is fine, but dinner and a movie shows that he has enough respect for you to want to go out to a place where he can have a conversation. You cant do this at a concert, and even the movie portion is bad for potential conversation. The first date needs to be about communication. You’re getting to know someone for the first time and there needs to be talking throughout this whole experience. The first date will set up for future dates (should you chose to proceed with this guy)

First Date Do’s:

1. Its ok to ask about his job, but try not to talk about a salary. You risk being thought of as a gold digger.

2. Its ok to bring up a few minor embarrassing stories. Hopefully he will do the same and it’ll break the ice and maybe you both will have a story that consists of putting your grandmothers dentures in the toilet (hey it happens..) Conversations like this are easy ways to keep the night going.

3. Bring up your goals and aspirations. Guys like a girl whose independent and can carry they’re own.

Don’ts (Theres a lot more of these)

1. Don’t expect him to pay just because its the first date. It is my belief that all men should have to pay on the first date (I just happen to be very old school) but there are men out there that dont know this or chose not to respect this, and for the most part I guess its OK, but try not to make a big deal out of it if you happen to go dutch.

2. Don’t bring up ex boyfriends. He doesn’t want to hear about guys you’ve dated. This sort of conversation should happen later on if you both start dating. You also will come off as “that girl who can’t get over her ex’s” and believe me, he does not want to be added to that list.

3. Don’t talk about your pets unless its somehow related to the conversation. Being labeled as “the crazy cat lady” isn’t a good thing..and there wont be a second date.

4. Eat… what I mean by this is, dont order a salad because your afraid of what he’ll think about you if you want to order a hamburger or a steak. Believe me, guys like a girl who can eat. A piece of brocoli and a crouton won’t cut it.

5. Try not to get drunk. If you happen to go to a social bar for a first date, 2-3 drinks is your MAX, show him your class not your ass.

6. When he says “order anything you want” it really means “please be kind to my bank account” which yes is a cop out and maybe the “get what you want” gesture should never be made if it isn’t actually meant, and in this case you should absolutely order whatever you want haha.

7. After the date, dont sleep with him on the first night. There will not be a second date, only a second text asking “hey last night was fun, wanna get together tonight?”. Congratulations, you have just become another notch on his bed post. Wait at least 4 dates before you decide to put out, or even longer then that. It should be whatever your most comfortable with.

These are just a few Do’s and Dont’s. I tried to put in the important ones. Keep in mind that the first date is nerve racking for everyone. Theres bound to be some awkward tension, and this is OK. Eventually you’ll get comfortable and open up to show him how wonderful you can really be. Don’t be afraid to be yourself. If a man cant accept you for whatever you are then he doesn’t deserve you and you can move onto bigger and better things (no pun intended). As always this is Kris signing off.

Jun 24 '10

Tip Eleven: The Rebound

rebound

**I’d like to welcome aboard the new Relationship Translator Editors Eve Zhang and Justine Bottles who will soon be making their editing debut, Welcome aboard Eve and Justine!**

So the summer is here which means a couple of things, everyones at the beach, the world cup is here again, and relationships are dropping like flies. According to a study I found, men break up with their girlfriends right when the summer begins. Why you ask? Simply put, its like a new slate. Some men are to insecure to go a summer with anything official. He wants to use this time for fun and experimenting, and then begin the cycle again in the fall. Todays post is intended to help you through the break up process, and more specifically avoiding rebounds.

Guy Friends, will take this as an opportunity (especially those who have feelings for you) to pounce on you the minute they hear your single. AVOID these guys. These guys are called opportunists. Very rarely do they want anything more then to hookup with you, and who knows, that might be what your looking for to forget the pain, but its not something i recommend. The point of being single now…is to be single. You have to slowly get over the guy so that you can be confident enough to move on. You also would like to avoid being labeled “that girl”

Bar Hookups, never end well. Once again, if this is what your seeking then more power to ya, but you want to avoid becoming the bar whore. Depending on where you live, things can get around quite quickly. Guys that pray on girls at bars are simply pathetic. Lets break it down. Guy goes to bar-girl goes to bar-girl gets drunk-guy doesn’t- guy waits for girl to get drunk- girl and guy leave bar together. Any man who needs a girl to be boozed up in order to get them isn’t a guy you want to be associated with. I’ve always said that bars aren’t the best places to meet potential keepers, unless your a cast member on the Jersey Shore, then bars are pretty much your your country club.

Dating a guy while your on the rebound, can be quite disastrous. Take it from someone who has been the victim of this. From personale experience, this guy will be genuine and actually want something serious with you, and theres a chance that you may like him, whether it be because you seriously do or because your on the rebound and your just seeking affection. Its not fair to you or the guy if you start to date him. He knows that what hes getting into might implode and end bad for him, but hes still going to want to get into something with you in hopes that he can make you feel better enough to realize that he might be the one for you. This only works for a while. Eventually the issues you never sorted out while being single will catch up to you and ruin the relationship (again personal experience).

My best advice to you in this situation is avoid the random hook ups and the potential rebound boyfriends. Take time for yourself and build yourself up back to a pure confidence point. When you can wake up in the morning and comfortably say “i dont need a guy to make me happy” thats when your ready to get back out there and seek out dating options again. Just like alcohol, a rebound only numbs the pain, it doesn’t make it go away. As always this is Kris signing off. Please submit questions or topic ideas (everything will be kept anonymous).

Jun 22 '10

NEW RT Exclusive: Featured Writers

So on behalf of a few suggestions, I have decided to include a featured writers portion of the blog, where people can submit their own posts (both men and women) that fit the general  feel for what the blog is. I classify it as a self help guide for women to understand whats really going on with a guy. Im proud to present this first piece done by Patty K where she explains bad pickup lines you should be weary of. Stay tuned for more original pieces on the Relationship Translator. If you’d like to become a featured writer on the blog, email me your pieces to kris.a.ortiz@gmail.com!

cartoon

Pick-Up Lines: the good, the bad, and the just plain pathetic

So, I’ve been the recipient of some great lines, the victim of some awful ones, and the giver of some AMAZING pickup lines.

Since I joined the world of online dating, I’ve gotten some great messages from guys trying to break the ice. So here’s some of the more recent ones, with my explanation of why they suck:

1. “u seeem cooool, i love audio soo we shld hang sometime” 
Reason it sucks: He put “u” instead of “you”, “cool” has only two “o”– not a string of 4 “oooooo”, “i” instead of “I”, “soo” instead of “so”, “shld” instead of “should.” I feel that there should be some mastery of the English grammar when contacting a person for the first time. Furthermore, he didn’t tell me his name, or any basic information or even why he thinks we’re compatable.

2. “you are gorgeous whats up” 
Reason it sucks: Again, poor grammar. Furthermore, the only thing you can tell me is that I’m gorgeous? You can’t even mention why my profile attracted your interest? You’re never going to get the time of day. Ever. So stop trying.

Those are just a few I’ve received today. Now let’s move on to real-life pickup lines.

When I was in high school, I was in Model United Nations. When we went to conferences, we had the opportunity to mingle with other MUN’ers. Since Western business attire was required for conferences, it became a topic of conversation. When guys tried to pick up a girl at a conference, what was the line we heard? “I like your Western business attire… right next to my bed.” Since we were in high school, I can now forgive the terrible pick-up lines. We were young and dumb… and dorks because we were in MUN. If a guy tried that on me now, depending on my drunkenness, he’d be laughed at or I’d applaud his audacity.

So what about bad lines nowadays? Perhaps my favorites come from guys in bars. From Freshman year to Junior year, my haunts were the Dizzy Lizard and Nacho Mama’s. Of course, those places attract Long Island’s finest guidos and high-school dropouts and drunk college freshmen. One night, I was out with my friends and a guy comes up and starts grinding with me. Sidenote: when in a bar, why do guys think it’s suddenly OK to thrust their dicks up against me? Do I have a sign that says “have pseudo-sex with me right on this nasty dance floor!”?

Well, I do have to applaud one guy. He starts dancing with me. Doesn’t even try to talk to me except tell me his name (I can’t even remember it now, oh well). Once he starts feeling me up a little too much for comfort, I have my friends rescue me… but as I begin to leave, he says his line… “Yo, do you wanna hook up?” Wow. Besides asking my name and teling me his and attempting to feel me up on the dancefloor,  he said 6 words. Well, even though I was under the slight influence of tequila, I had enough sense to say no. I applauded his bravery, but I’m not desperate enough to say yes to that level of pathetic.

Of course, there’s the pickup lines when you’re already on the date… or the just plain douche bag behavior. Most recent example may come from television. As you know, I watch “The Office” more than any other human should, and the episode “Happy Hour” introduced us to “Date Mike”. The line– “Hi. I’m Date Mike. Nice to meet me.” Attention all males who ever want to score: this is a bad line! And P.S.– never wear that hat.

Now, my ex got me with one of the worst pickup lines… mainly because I was a drunk freshman. We met at a banquet and his friends introduced us. His line to me? “Want to take a walk outside?” So, being the naive drunk freshman that I was, went outside with him. He tries to explain the architecture of the building… while drunk and probably high. In retrospect, I probably made a poor life choice going on that walk; staying inside could have saved me from 3 years of insanity. Anyway, bad pickup lines. After three minutes, he kisses me. And I follow along because I was a freshman who couldn’t stay sober. Bad idea.

So, some of the best pick up lines? I’ve fallen victim to a few of them… mostly because I was intoxicated or the guy was just plain cute. Example: Sophomore year I took a Renaissance Europe class. Saw a kid who caught my interest. My friend hooked up with his friend while we chatted and then I thought I’d never see him again. Fast forward two years to my friend’s 21st birthday party. Theme: Corporate Hos and CEOs. I looked HOT. He shows up. I look hot. His line, “So, how did you do in that class 2 years ago?” Being the dork I am, I was totally enchanted by the line. We chat for about 5 minutes. I can’t even remember what we talked about (oh the influence of champagne). All I remember is hooking up and waking up the next morning is the house next door to where the party is. I considered this hookup an accomplishment. See guys? Sometimes you have to lay the groundwork 2 years in advance. Or maybe I’m just a lush when drunk. Either way, it was fun!

So, how about the lines I’ve given? Well, my favorite is when I just complimented a guy on his cologne… I said, “Are you wearing Abercrombie Fierce?” And next thing I know, I landed the guy… within 2 minutes. Record time? I think so.

In the mating process… or just the hooking up process, pick up lines are a vital part of finding your next conquest. My advice to you guys? Please don’t use the line, “The more you drink the better I look.” Don’t remind us of our beer goggles. We’ll regret it enough the next morning.

Jun 21 '10

Tip Ten: The Friend Zone

Friend Zone

I think im going to have a lot if fun writing this one. So to start off, I believe we have all been in what has come to be known as “the friend zone”. If you have never heard of this, then it simply means a person who is trying to get somewhere with someone romantically and something happens along the way where this person is eventually only seen as a friend by the person they are pursuing. 

Now the purpose of this post is to inform the ladies reading about what to look for in order to avoid doing this to a guy. Women generally don’t realize when they are doing this to a man, its not your fault, it just happens.

So heres the scenario. Theres a guy who is going out of his way to be nice to you, he seems to always be available and even offers to pay for you for a lot of occasions you happen to be together. In his mind its “ok cool, she’s gonna see im a genuine guy and eventually it’ll become serious” but in your mind its “hes such a nice friend!” unfortunately by the time he realizes this, you have probably started dating someone new and have officially planted this poor soul in the friend zone, where despite what you may believe, there is no coming back from (Dramatic Music Here)

Here are a few tips to help realize if a guy likes you so that you can either embrace it, or cut him off before he wastes both your times.

1. Hes always around. He wants to spend time with you where he attempts to get to know you better, but wont phrase it as so. Its a non threatening way to get to a point where he can comfortably finally reveal his true intentions without coming off like a creeper.

2. He tends to offer to pay for you a lot. This may sound great but try not to be a bitch about it and take over advantage. Its not cool and then you tend to get a negative reputation. Once or twice is fine but if you realize whats really going on here and you aren’t interested then you should say so up front.

3. He tends to give you relationship advice where he makes himself out to be the good guy in hopes that you’ll notice him and potentially see him as more then a friend. This is innocent, dont take it as a creeper status, hes just trying to be nice.

Now im going to go on a small rant here. Women constantly say “i want to find a nice guy”…yet one comes along and their completely ignored and passed on for another asshole. My advice to you is…if you find a nice guy..go with it, he may end up being the one, either that or please stop saying you want a nice guy, because you obviously don’t if your passing on them..ok now im done lol

To end todays post, i’d like to say I hope this was somewhat informative. Remember to be open minded and explore new opportunities. This is Kris signing off.

Jun 20 '10

Tip Nine: Should we try again?

reunited

Let me start this post with…Short answer NO, long answer NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, but seriously, this is probably one of those things that you have to ask yourself. Im not saying you shouldn’t consider getting back with him, I’m just saying that its something that you should think long and hard about.

Now lets break this down in ways we can understand. Ladies, you broke up (or was broken up with) Some time passes and either you or him reach out to the other person and starts to initiate contact again. At first depending on what side your on, this may be a bit odd and weird, especially if its been a long time since you’ve talked.

You both might agree to meet up and talk about things and see where that goes, now two things might come out of this: You either talk and remember why you broke up in the first place and then never talk again….or you remember what attracted you to each other and decided to work through your problems and try again.

My opinion on this has always been the same. Unless you both know deep inside that it can work, don’t bother trying again. The way I see it is, there’s a reason you broke up in the first place, whether it be in your terms or his. Chances are if the problems were really severe then its a slim chance that its gonna work out a second time.

I’m always in favor in giving someone a second chance, but this chance should not exceed a meet up unless its a mutual thing. Whatever the outcome in this situation is, just makes sure its what is right for you. Don’t settle for your ex just because your desperate to get into a relationship. If you happen to break up again then its like falling all the way back and having to deal with all the negative feelings all over again. Avoid it if possible. Remember with every new relationship your supposed to grow as a person and learn from the past to better your future. Until next time, this is Kris Signing off.